His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
