I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
