Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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