i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
