she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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