remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
