i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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