are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize
