she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
