If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
