quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
