Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
