She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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