All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize