Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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