The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
