haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
