I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is Oprah even human
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
