Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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