he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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