Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
