I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
