I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
