if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
