idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize