Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
