Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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