I'm eating all of the evidence.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
