Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize