Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
