think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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