YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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