You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize