It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
