the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
my poor anus
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize