he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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