its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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