My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
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