i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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