White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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