Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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