yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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