weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
