I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
