Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
