Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
