Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
