This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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