if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
