Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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