"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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