i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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