This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
