Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
