I don't think brook has ever known best
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
