You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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