He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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