Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
