then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize