I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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