I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
