Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
