im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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