the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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