One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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